Dusty Mumbai – Dirty Mumbai!

One of the most irritating things about Mumbai, and something I just can’t stand in general, is the dust! Yes, my friends, I am talking about pounds of dust that just float in the air on a daily basis, any time of the day or night. Even though Mumbai is a mega metropolis, the lack of good road infrastructures, massive construction sites around the city, and the uncontrollable fumes and exhaust from the millions of cars that buzz in and through the city, make Mumbai a magnet for dirt, grime, and dust.

There are no words to describe my irritation when I walk into my house and I see a layer of dust sitting pretty on my furniture and windows, barely two days after the maid has dusted the house! My god, where does this dust come from? All the windows at home have to be shut, even though I hate them being shut. And yet, the dust finds a way to creep into the house and make itself comfortable on every bleeding object and furniture there is. Even our window panes get greasy and dusty just barely after they have been cleaned with Windex.

Just last Sunday, we called in professional cleaners, who came in with all their machinery and spent 6 hours cleaning the windows and furniture in the house. They did a pretty good job and the house was spotless. I was relieved and relaxed, being in the luxury of an immaculately clean house. But like all good things that come to an end, this too was not meant to last. Within 48 hours, the dust was back, with full vengeance this time. When I asked the cleaners how dust creeps in, they said that since there was so much of it in the air, it just floats into the house through any tiny cracks and crevices in the walls, especially when you live on the main road, like I do. Technically, I do not live on the main road. The lane on which I live used to be a quiet, peaceful lane, with a handful of cars passing by. Now, this lane has become host to big trucks, schools buses, and a battalion of cars, that find it more convenient to travel through the smaller arteries of my neighborhood, than get stuck in the gruesome traffic of the main road. What used to be a peaceful neighborhood has now become a haven for two and four-wheelers that whiz in and out of these smaller lanes, bringing with them, all the possible dust and fumes that one can imagine. Don’t even get me started on my thoughts on the quality of air in Mumbai!

By the way, the cleaners also added, “Madam, this problem of dust is the bane of the entire city of Mumbai.” I was not surprised.

I can’t imagine that I have moved from San Francisco, where I literally had to dust the house once a week, to Mumbai, where I am surrounded by dust, both in and out of the house. I am trying to make peace with the fact that I may never be able to have a house that is dust-free or have minimum dust. It’s challenging to do so when you have a high sense of hygiene and cleanliness, like I do. Let’s not forget that I also have an OCD about clean furniture…..but just don’t have the time or patience to maintain them in Mumbai.

Oh, the quandaries of living in Mumbai….will they ever end?

Resiliency of the Human Spirit

Life in Mumbai is hectic, sometimes painfully so. Over the last few months, I have been in deep awe of the ability of the human spirit to survive and revive, even in the wake of madness and chaos. When I think of my own strength and belief to make this massive transition from San Francisco to Mumbai, I am amazed by my ability to thrive and make the most of, what appears to be, a dismal situation. Be it the large-scale corruption, the pollution, the astronomically high cost of living, the increasing population, and even the incredible poverty that I come across on a daily basis, I find that my spirit is able to rise above all the uncertainty and find meaning in and have gratitude for all the experiences that are thrown away.

I am becoming increasingly aware of this idea even as I continue my work with my patients – each one has a story to tell, some of them extremely disheartening and others not so painful. Day in and day out, I hear the stories and narratives of these people, all of whom are struggling and dealing with life and its challenges. Each story is different; each tale is unique. But the theme that is common to all their stories and to mine and yours as well, is the idea of resilience.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines resilience as follows:  “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.” I believe the human spirit is resilient by nature, even though sometimes it is hard to imagine so. There is a certain spark within each one of us that is eager to blaze into a fire, even in the most dire circumstances. And it’s not a question of whether this spark will burst into flames or not, but more a question of time; for some, it is longer and for others, it happens before they even know it. But it does, one way or another.

When I am walking around in Mumbai or traveling by train, the resiliency of the human spirit is so blatant, that it’s always inspiring to me. Whether it is the homeless boy doing all that he can to earn some money or whether it is the 3-legged stray dog that is determined to cross the road in heavy traffic, no one in Mumbai ever gives up. Perhaps, Mumbai herself has a resilient spirit or maybe this is all a grand illusion, a game of some sorts? It doesn’t really matter.

I have learned, in my 14 months in Mumbai, that my stay in this city is directly proportionate to the choices I make. We all make choices on a daily basis: some are wise, some not so wise. But they are our choices, and we must live with them. I made a conscious choice to move to Mumbai, and though in the beginning it was very tough (and sometimes still is), I am beginning to realize that I must learn to make the most of my choices, and with each passing day, I am able to make peace with this idea.

Freddie Mercury states it best in his song The Show Must Go On. Hope you enjoy the video:

Guavas or Peru

One of my most favorite fruit in Mumbai is the Guava, commonly referred to as peru in Hindi. It is generally found in the summer/fall seasons and is a great, filling, and wholesome snack to have at anytime of the day. In the last one year of living in Mumbai, I have developed a deep fondness for the fruit and have learned to appreciate its tarty flavor and nutritional value. More importantly, I have come to appreciate the way in which it is consumed in Mumbai.

If you have been to Mumbai at this time of the year, you will find hand carts loaded with perus at every street corner. Each cart has different types of perus, all having a various price range. You can see what I am referring to in the picture below:

The peru cart and the vendor

You will notice above the distinct demarcations of the perus. You may purchase one for as little is Rs. 3/- to as high as Rs.6/- In the evenings, there are always people stopping by the cart to pick up a healthy snack on their way back from work. What is most intriguing is the way in which peru is consumed in Mumbai (and I am sure in other parts of India as well). You will notice in the picture below, a box containing a peach colored mixture of sorts:

This, my friends, is a sublime and delectable mixture of salt and red chilli powder! I have often avoided this mixture thinking it would taste awful and I often wondered how ludicrous people could be to apply this mixture on their perus…….until I tried it myself last week. I was passing by a peru cart and I mustered the courage to buy a peru and this time, instead of just giving the man the money and walking away, I waited for him to ask me the question, “Do you want masala on the peru?” I said yes.

The old man proceeded to smear a thin layer of this mixture on each quarter of the peru that he had cut open. I dared to put a piece in my mouth and was pleasantly taken by surprise when I discovered a medley of flavors in my mouth. It was a really strange but welcome experience. I asked the man why people eat their perus this way and he explained to me that the nutritional properties of the peru are such that they tend to create “cold” in the body, which means that, people tend to get colds easily if they eat too many perus. However, if consumed with the mixture of salt and chilli powder, one does not tend to catch a cold. Yes, in India, we have a panacea for every dilemma.

I checked this out with my next door neighbor who swore by this idea and was aghast at how I have been eating perus without this divine mixture. I have to say, I have been missing out on this unique taste of “tarty meets salty meets spicy” and look forward to eating many a perus with the seasoning.

So the next time you are in Mumbai and it happens to be Peru season, do stop by and indulge in a little piece of heaven!

November 18th – Mumbai at a Standstill

If you have been following the news on India, you would have come to know of the massive paralysis the city of Mumbai experienced on the 17th and 18th of November. Mumbai was at a standstill over the death of Mahrashtra’s political supremo, Bal Thackeray. In all fairness, Thackeray was not a politician, neither did he have any political hold over Mumbai. But, what he did have, was a great deal of power over the masses, especially the Maharashtrians, who believe that Thackeray did a whole lot for their social and economic well being and upliftment.

Bal Thackeray

I do not want to go into the history or the biography of Thackeray. You can look it up yourself on the internet, where there is no dearth of information on the man, by any stretch of imagination. I do want to share my experience as I witnessed, first-hand, the quickened pace at which Mumbai went into shut-down mode, within a matter of hours.

Thackeray has been severely ailing for a while, and was believed to be clinically dead a couple of days before Diwali itself. On November 15th, there was rumor about his impending demise, and by 12 pm that afternoon, the hustle and bustle of the city was reduced to pin-drop silence. I was amazed how, just upon the suspicion that he may be dead, most of the shops had shut down, people ventured into and stayed in their homes, even chaiwalas (tea vendors) abandoned their stalls, and the main roads were laden with police. It was unusually quiet, and some of my own clients who had appointments with me, did not feel safe to make it for them, even in their chauffeur driven cars.

That was the 15th and the next day everything was back to normal because his followers thought that he was OK. It was not made public that he was barely surviving on a ventilator. On the 17th of November, which was a Saturday, I was at Marine Lines (in South Mumbai), at an electric shop, exchanging light bulbs. I stepped out to indulge in some street food and the vendor told me he was in a hurry to shut down his stall because they just got wind that the great one had passed away. While he was making the food, the lanky, tall man, stopped a few feet from the stall and started yelling at the vendor, cursing him in Hindi and telling him that he needs to shut down his stall immediately. This guy was obviously one of Thackeray’s goons, more politely referred to as a Sainik or member of the Shiv Sena, Thackeray’s party. It did not matter to the man that a lady was standing there. I was amazed by what I witnessed around me…people running helter-skelter, shutters of shops being slammed shut in a matter of minutes, people scrambling for taxis or any kinds of modes of transportation to make it back safely to their houses…even the grocer stores and convenient stores had to shut down, which meant that, if you did not have any food or milk or other basic necessities in your home, you would have to wait till Monday to get them. Mumbai was going on a bandh (literally means to halt or stop or shut down). Only hospitals and medical stores could stay open.

It took us 2 hours to get home, a ride that usually takes us about 45-60 minutes. Here is a picture of the traffic jam and the cars that moved at snails pace, all in a hurry to be safe in doors:

We finally got home and found that we had just enough of food to tide us over Saturday and Sunday. I have seen Mumbai slow down on the weekends, but have never witnessed graveyard silence in the mega metropolis. One asks, why was there a bandh? Why did Mumbai, the financial capital of India, come to a standstill over the death of one man? A lot of people are asking if it was out of fear or respect. I believe it was out of pure fear.

The newspapers read, “Shopkeepers were not asked to shut their shops down, but did so out of respect for Thackeray”, a man who is believed to have done a lot for the state of Maharashtra. I say that is bull shit – it was all done out of fear and even the Mumbai police could not do a thing about it. By Sunday morning, when the funeral was to take place, 20 lakh (2 hundred thousand) people from all over Maharashtra, had made their way to Mumbai to pay their final respects to the their beloved savior (even the funeral of Mother Teresa did not attract such masses). The streets of Mumbai were empty and not a single shop was open. I have never witnessed such a sight in Mumbai and was beyond shocked to see how people did not dare to get out, unless they really needed to.

What was even shocking was that the man was given a State Funeral, something that even Mahatma Gandhi was not given. He was wrapped in the Indian flag, and on what grounds, I will never know. Thackeray was neither a politician, nor a leader of the country; he was a mere mortal who was a splendid orator and was responsible for many a controversies in Mumbai. I am not denying that he did do good for the locals, but I believe he did so at a heavy cost which the common man had to pay (again, you may do your own research and come to your own conclusions on the man, who incidentally, was also a great fan of Adolf Hitler).

In the tri-color flag

It is the 18th today and Mumbai is back to life and fortunately, there were no riots or hooliganism that broke out because of the throngs of people that invaded the city. Thackeray and his followers, his principles and his conduct, will always be controversial, and Mumbai has always been and will be in the grip of fear, every time something concerning the Shiv Sena party occurs.

This experience has really re-defined democracy for me, which clearly, we are lacking in India. If one has to shut down his/her shops for fear of losing their lives, how is this a democracy? This sort of rubbish was not be tolerated in the USA and people would not have been forced to stay in lock-down, where even the police appeared to be crippled and useless.

It’s a War Zone in Mumbai!

I officially hate Diwali, as celebrated in Mumbai. While I appreciate and understand the significance of the festival per se, I cannot, for the life of me, understand how and why Mumbaikers celebrate it the way they do. It is disgusting and I have become agitated by the same.

Imagine this: it’s 6 am on a Tuesday morning and you are fast asleep in the comfort of your bed, when outside you hear bomb like noise that awaken the day light out of you. And in your sleep you are confused as to what is going on. My first reaction is, just like last year, has Pakistan finally invaded India? Why does it sound like Mumbai is being put through massive carpet bombing? Is there a blitzkrieg? Should I run for my life? And then it bloody well dawns on you that the noise that sounds like incessant bombarding, is but only the noise pollution caused by huge firecrackers and bombs. Yet, it feels like a freakin’ war zone.

I have been exposed to this kind of air and noise pollution since Monday night. It is a Wednesday night, around 23:40 hours, and people are still bursting missile like fire crackers all over Mumbai. Last night, I was ready to sleep by 10 pm, but only made it to bed at 12 am because of the firecrackers. I kid you not, it sounds like I am in the midst of a war. Even the street dogs are running helter-skelter, trying to find refuge underneath street cars and building compounds, worrying for their lives. The birds are also flying about and it is quite apparent that they are disturbed by all of this. My poor cat, that has never been subjected to such auditory atrocities in the USA, has been hiding under the sofa for the last couple of days. The air is densely coated with smog and the rusty smell of gun powder. I hate it and my windows have been shut tight for the last 3 days.

One of the most noisiest crackers are the 1000 wala garland crackers. It literally is a string of a 1000 crackers that go off in one go and sounds like a heavy duty riffle gun in action. I can’t explain it any better, so hoping this picture may help:

1000 wala garland crackers

A recent article in the newspaper quoted Minesh Mehta, the joint secretary of the Mumbai and Thane District Fireworks Dealers’ Welfare Association with the following:  “The sale of loud crackers has fallen by 60% this year.” If this is true, I cannot even begin to imagine what it must have been like a few years ago.

It really saddens me to think how much money people spend on fire crackers every year. Even the “poor” people seem to be able to shell out money for the sole purpose of firecrackers. All I know is that Diwali, the “festival of lights” is more like the “festival of deafening noise” and I hate every bit of it!

T’is the Season of Giving!

No, I am not referring to Christmas, the season that engenders the spirits of kindness and generosity. I am talking about the “season of giving” as I experience it in Mumbai. The festival season started with a big bang with the onset of Ganesh Chaturthi in late September. Post that, there have been several other national festivals and holidays, such as Gandhi Jayanti (birthday of the Father of the Nation), Dussera (Festival dedicated to the Goddess), Navratri (the nine nights preceding Dussera), Karvachauth  ( a North Indian religious holiday where married women fast for the longevity of their husband’s life {and you’ll never catch me doing that, unless my husband does it for me}, and now we are headed to the famous and most celebrated Hindu festival, Diwali (the festival of lights).

In the last few days, I have been noticing a certain phenomena a lot more, something I believe is related to this Hindu holiday season: begging in the name of religion! Now I am not saying that you don’t get beggars who plead for money in the name of religion otherwise, but there appears to be a certain surge in the level of exploitation and the use of “religion” during the holiday season. I have seen people beg on the streets and ask for money claiming, as if they heard directly from the divine herself, that god will bless the good-doer with either a “long life” or a “generous progeny” or (if single), “a loving and handsome marital partner”. Then you have an entire family, each playing a distinct role, who walk around Mumbai with calves or very young cows that are lightly decked in golden and orange/red fabric, with powdered color smeared on them, enticing people along the street for money in the name of religion.

Below are some pictures of what I am talking about. As you already know, the cow is thee most sacred animal in Hinduism and is highly revered. Hence I used the word “exploitation” above, because I believe this antic is an exploitation of the commoner’s religious sentiments (and of the cow, of course). I have taken these pictures from my balcony window:

Lady with a young bull, asking people on the street for money.

While one member of the family will actively beg, other members will play musical instruments to attract attention. This morning I was awoken by the jarring sound of a father playing the shennai (an Indian musical instrument that originates from the flute family) and his young son (could not have been more than 6 years old), playing a drum:

 

Man playing the Shennai

 

And finally, here’s a picture of a mother and her child petting the cow and giving the family some money (suckers!!):

Unfortunately, even in the big bad city of Mumbai, there are plenty of suckers who fall into or give in to this religious trap. So one can only imagine how wealthy some of these beggars may actually be.

So there you have it! The spirit of giving is certainly heightened in the festival season. But try giving these same people some food or clothes and, chances are, they will snub you, and snub you to the point of a rude awakening!

Hospital Surcharge for Foreigners in Mumbai

Top story: Foreigners in Mumbai are made to pay a 25% surcharge for medical care!!!

OK, it’s not a top story, but it sure feels like it when one has lived in Mumbai for several years, is a law abiding citizen, has paid his/her share of taxes, and is seeking the same level of medical care as any average Indian. The only difference is that when a foreigner gets the hospital bill, there is a 25% hike in the cost.

Several expats whom I have encountered have faced this problem in Mumbai, and I am assuming it is a disease that is spread across the rest of India. What is strange though, is while some hospitals have this 25% hike, other hospitals in Mumbai have not adopted this policy. Clearly, this hike is not a state regulated policy and has been conveniently utilized by certain hospitals who believe that foreigners should be paying a higher price than the locals. For instance, hospitals, such as Kokila Behn (in Aandheri) have this 25% surcharge, while others, such as Hiranandani (in Powai) and Seven Hills (in Andheri) and Breach Candy Hospital (in South Mumbai), do not impose such surcharges.

I am perplexed, even disturbed, by the idea that foreigners who are here on legal working visas or are even spouses of Indian citizens are mandated to pay more than the actual charge. One of my friends, though she is not an Indian citizen, is as good as being one because she posses the “PIO” (Person of Indian Origin), a life long Indian visa akin to the “Green Card” of the USA. Even she was asked to pay the surcharge of 25%. I am not entirely sure why some hospitals have this mandate, but it sure seems unfair and a serious case of discrimination and poor ethics.

When I lived in the USA, I never had to pay any “extra” fees or costs for any of the governmental services, be it the hospitals, Social Security, calling 911, my college fees, including my Federal and State taxes. I felt like I was treated no different from the locals, when it came to the above. I can understand that, if I were a tourist and visiting the country for a very short time, I may be charged a slightly higher fee because I do not pay taxes in the host country, and therefore do not contribute to the economy. But what business does any organization have charging a foreign “resident” a surcharge on medical care solely based on the passport of an individual or the color of their skin?

And what’s infuriating is that, even within the hospital that has these surcharges, only some foreigners end up paying the surcharge, while others walk away like nothing ever happened. Let me illustrate, if you may. The friend of mine, whom I was alluding to earlier, was in line for the cashier’s counter to pay off her hospital bill. The person ahead of her was a British Caucasian man. When he got his bill, it included the 25% surcharge and the man was politely informed that he had no choice but to pay the full amount. “This is just the hospital policy”, he was told. Then it was my friend’s turn and, sensing her foreign accent (even though she is American-Indian), was immediately asked her for proof of citizenship. When she whipped out her PIO card, she was told she needed to pay the surcharge because she was not a citizen of India. It was plain and simple as that! So she stepped aside and the lady behind her, who looked and sounded Indian, but was actually a Canadian-Indian (my friend knew because she got chatting with her while in line), was not even asked what her citizenship status was. There was no inquiry made, whatsoever. My friend was, naturally, infuriated.

Bottom line is: there is no standard policy on this 25% surcharge in hospitals in Mumbai, let alone India. Yet, some hospitals are thriving on this surcharge and believe their policy is fair and square. I personally am embarrassed by this stupidity and sincerely hope that this policy be abandoned. Currently, there is a petition that is being signed by expats and non-expats who are against this policy. My gut feeling is that, being India, this petition will only go so far. But I still think there is hope and sight, and more to be determined in the next few months.

Cheeky, cheeky!

Mumbai is a city with attitude, and I am talking serious attitude…..right from Bollywood stars to the middle class person to the little street urchins (that add to the beautification of the city – don’t; mind the sarcasm). When I am out and about, I am always expecting some kind of attitude or another from the Mumbaikers, be it rich, middle class, or the poor folk. It’s just a given when you live in a city, such as Mumbai.

On Sunday, I went for a casual walk to Carter Road, a lovely promenade in Bandra West. I saw this sweet little bigger girl peering into a shop window, probably hungry or greedy, trying to earn her wages so that she could exchange it for food when she got home to her parents (who were also beggars). I really felt sorry for the little one and, although my usual tendency is to walk past beggars (because how many beggars can you feed?), I decided to give her a packet of biscuits that I usually carry for the stray dogs. Just so you know, as an animal lover, I am always carrying biscuits for the city’s innumerable dogs. I don’t like giving money to beggars as I believe it just perpetuates this cycle of begging and not being proactive in looking for work. So, I prefer giving them food. I tapped the girl on her shoulder and handed her the biscuit packet. I was very touched when she said “shukriya” (an Urdu word for thank you). I continued walking on and was a little stunned when I saw the little one following me. I figured she probably just wanted some money and was trying her luck with me….little did I know what she really was going to do.

She proceeded to do exactly what I suspected….begged for money, for a rupee, making me feel guilty for not indulging her….this little girl was probably a quarter my size and was so determined to get something out of me. I told her that I had already given her the biscuits and she should now leave me alone. She persisted. I insisted. And finally, the cheeky one mustered up the courage and point-blank told me that she did not want the biscuits. I was shocked and infuriated, and I snatched the packet from her and put it back in my bag. As I continued to speed along, the begging continued, until her older sister stepped in and pulled her away.

I was really amazed by the girl’s audacity to return the food back to me…..but then it struck me….this girl was not begging because she was really hungry, she was but a mere worker, put to work by her parents who probably instructed her that she should not accept anything less than money. She must have been all of 4 or 5 years old, dressed in a long skirt and tattered shirt, her face dotted with a runny nose. She was scuffed up and adorable….but had an attitude that even I couldn’t match up to!

Begging is still a bustling and lucrative profession in Mumbai. With a population of around 23 million people, this may just be a beggar’s paradise….so why accept food, when you can aim for (and get) the big bucks?

Ganesh Chatturthi (GC) is finally over!

With all due to respect to my Hindu friends and relatives, GC is finally over. Yes, the festival dedicated to Lord Ganesha, one of India’s most favored and adorable god, has come to a close. It officially started on the 19th of September and the final day, which consisted of processions and immersions, culminated on September 29th.

I’d like to share the origins of GC, commemorating its original purpose in India. The birth of Lord Ganesha was always celebrated in the Hindu calendar. However, it became a public and communal event when, Lokmanya Tilak (one of the Freedom Fighters of India) started encouraging the celebration of the Hindu festival within the larger community. In 1893, Tilak saw to it that the Hindu festival became a public event, as he realized the universal appeal of the deity Ganesha and popularized Ganesh Chaturthi as a national festival in order. It is believed he did this in order to lessen the widening gap between the several castes and to increase a patriotic attitude among people in Maharashtra against the British colonial rule.Tilak was the first to install large idols of Ganesh in public, and also established the practice of submerging these idols in rivers, seas, or other pools of water on the tenth day after Ganesh Chaturthi.

This idea of communal celebration and nationalism has continued to-date; unfortunately, it has been transformed, at least in my opinion, to a mockery of sorts, having the original spirit of the festival dissolve with time. I use the word “mockery” because of the kinds of behaviors and attitudes that are now associated with GC. The incredibly loud music (which highly contributes to sound pollution), the inappropriate music (such as that from Bollywood films and other pop music), the incessant burning and bursting of fire crackers (which highly contributes to air pollution), the inconveniences that are caused as a result of these processions (eg: major traffic jams, late night festivities when the next day is a working day, etc) and the (sometimes) bad behaviors exhibited by men, are all factors that have stripped the original meaning and spirit of GC.

I love Lord Ganesha – he is a sweet, pot bellied, charming little elephant that makes me smile every time I meet his eyes. As previously mentioned, during the 10 day festival, idols of all shapes and sizes are erected all over the city. Here is a picture of one near my house:

Those 10 days are relatively calm and it’s spiritually uplifting to see an idol at practically every corner of the street in Mumbai. It is on the last day that all chaos breaks loose and my appreciation for GC melts as fast at the ice caps of the North Pole!

On the final day, hoards of people carry the idol in huge trucks and/or bullock carts, making their way to the sea, where they will immerse the deity in its final resting place. The Times of India reported that, this year alone, over 2 Lakh (2,00,000) idols were immersed in the sea in Mumbai. Traditionally, most of these idols have been made of plaster-of-Paris, a material that is non-biodegradable and insoluble in water, and very toxic for the environment. More recently, a lot more efforts have been made to create “eco-friendly” Ganeshas. Even then, I am not completely convinced that immersing these so called eco-friendly Ganeshas are any better than the ones made of POP.

In some parts of Mumbai, people have created artificial pools in which they temporarily immerse the idol, and then take it back to their homes and recycle it for the next year. Please take note of the evidence of the pollution I am talking about:

Tons of GC paraphernalia and other junk washed up on the shore

Hope more people follow this message next year:

Every year, Mumbai hits a new record with the noise pollution levels during GC, and this year has been the highest. I really hope that more of us return to the original spirit of GC and that Lord Ganehs does bless us with the much needed wisdom and inspiration to keep this festival as green as possible!

 

Mumbai Dilemmas

There are many dilemmas of living in Mumbai; dilemmas and situations that make you want to pull your hair out and wonder if you are losing your mind. There are subtle dilemmas, and then there are not so subtle ones, both of which are infuriating and confusing. The not so subtle and blatant dilemmas include the following: do I pay a bribe or not, do I give money to the beggars on the road or just roll up my window and pretend they do not exist, do I walk past a gaping manhole everyday and not do anything about it, and/or, do I help the old or handicapped person cross the street or do I ignore him/her because I am too busy and need to get somewhere? These are some of the obvious dilemmas that I am constantly faced with over and over again.

And then you have some subtle dilemmas, dilemmas that just blind side you in a very unassuming way. These include situations such as: do i deliberately avoid the lady (daily) who collects the building garbage or give her the money she has been hinting at (due to my new house renovations), do I dress conservatively or just be myself when I am out and about Mumbai, and my most recent dilemma, who do I invite for my house-warming get together?

Living in Mumbai, especially if you are from the city, comes with a lot of baggage – one of them being “family”. Yes, the dearly beloved family whose lineage seems endless and most apparent when it’s time to have people over. Don’t get me wrong,  family is important and an integral part of life, but the idea of family can also be cumbersome when one has a big extended family and has to decide who to invite!

It’s been a few weeks now that I have been consulting my grandmother on who to invite for lunch and what the menu should be and blah, blah, blah. We decided on the guest list, and I thought it wise to follow her advise on inviting those people who have invited my husband and I for meals to their house. So we zoned in on the list and I was pleased with our selection. This afternoon, however, I got a call from grandma, delicately suggesting two more people to my guest list, and I was not pleased with it at all. In all fairness, the two extra guests had invited us for lunch to their place, and I informed grandma that I would invite them at a later time as it would be too many guests to manage in one go. But the old lady was insistent that “adding two more guests would not be a big deal”, when in fact, I know it would. And her reason for inviting them was, really bizarre, at least to me. She informed me, “You never know when you will need these people…” I almost lost it, but kept my cool.

And I thought about this episode for a few minutes and it dawned on me that, back in the USA, I never had to deal with this family business, of whom to invite, and whose feelings will be hurt, and (I quote my grandma) “what people will think and say”, and all that jazz. I didn’t have to bat an eye! It was a relatively hassle free life without having to consider all these social conundrums and implications regarding family. Since it was just my husband and I, it was a relatively simple and uncomplicated life. Now it seems a little more messy than I like.

Just like many other things I am getting accustomed to in Mumbai, co-existing with family and understanding its social and cultural expectations and implications, is also something I need to learn to deal with. The list of lessons and life-tests never end, and I am still trying to keep up with the many lessons that Mumbai so consistently throws my way. Some days I am prepared for them and most days I am not. And life still goes on. I salute the human resiliency that is potent in me and in every other human being.